My blog

What is low confidence costing you?

I am going to share with you a story of three people today. I know these people really well, in fact I see them in my coaching practice every single day.  They are also my friends, my family members and probably the strangers I pass in the street.

You might know them too. Watch closely, as you may even recognise yourself.

The first person is called Imposter.

Imposter has a good job that she’s worked hard to get.  She does the long hours, puts her hand up for the big projects, speaks up in meetings, can always be depended upon to get the job done (and done well!) and she over delivers at every opportunity.

She comes across as put together and confident.

But despite this, she isn’t happy, because more often than not she feels like an imposter. 

Every day she goes to work, she pushes herself to work harder, to do more, to do better.  Because if she doesn’t, she fears she will get found out.

And this fear drives her, often exhausts her, but she covers it up and keeps pushing.

The next person is called Sabotage.

Sabotage has done well in his career, but he has this constant nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach, that he just hasn’t lived up to his potential.

He is often angry and frustrated, both at work and at home. Because he wants to be doing more, but he stops himself.

Comparison is an almost constant companion, as he compares himself to those around him. How much more they have achieved, how much smarter they are, better at their job they are, or just plain luckier than he is.

All of this means he never measures up, so that when opportunities do arise, he talks himself out of them. Because he’s convinced he’s just not good enough – doesn’t have what it takes.  And so the resentment builds……

The last person I am going to introduce you to is called Comfort.

Now Comfort is good at her job. She’s been doing it for a while and has it pretty well mastered.

It’s not what she really wants to be doing, but she’s become comfortably uncomfortable. She’s not miserable, but she has days where she feels dissatisfied or dreams of having more fulfillment in her career.

But Comfort reminds herself that it’s better the devil you know. She’s worked hard to get here and she knows what she’s doing.  To make a change could mean failing.  And to her, this means putting her comfortable, satisfactory life at risk.

So she stays exactly where she is, convincing herself that it’s not that bad and that hey – most people don’t love their jobs anyway, so why should I be any different?  And she gets more comfortable with the discomfort.

Do you recognise yourself in any of these people?  Maybe you see yourself in all of them?

What they all have in common is a lack of self-belief.  They are holding themselves back, from experiencing genuine happiness, from gaining satisfaction and fulfilment in their career and from taking the risks that are necessary to go after the type of career and life they want to be living.

If this sounds like you, but you really want to believe in yourself, to back yourself to take those calculated risks, to stop making decisions about your career and life from a place of fear, then it’s time you worked on your confidence.

Start by identify the beliefs that are feeding your low self-confidence and think about the outcomes that these beliefs are creating for you. Maybe they are forcing you to stay in a job you don’t enjoy; preventing you from going for that promotion; or from building relationships with your co-workers.

Then think about what beliefs you need in place, in order to create different outcomes.  These are the beliefs that will feed your self-confidence positively, so that you can back yourself to go after the things that you want.

Once you are clear on your new beliefs, every time the old beliefs crop up, force yourself to replace them with the new ones. In time they will start to feel like the truth, and before you know it, you’re acting from a place of positivity, self-belief and confidence!

Feel like you need some help to build your self-confidence? Check out my Confidence Booster Training program, that will have you building and maintaining rock solid confidence!